Later that night I remembered that I’d completely forgotten about asking Harry about Deimante. I was about to pick up my phone and text him, but I figured to just leave it. He’d seemed like his old self again at the airport today and I didn’t want to ruin that. Was it that important anyway? That bitch didn’t have the rights to interrupt us and our relationship. She should just stay away and mind her own business. She couldn’t do anything to us anyway, could she?
—
The next morning I ran into class fifteen minutes late and hurried to find my seat besides Ida. I’d been feeling so sorry for myself last night, I’d cried myself to sleep and forgot to put my alarm on. When I sat down and smiled to Ida, she just looked at me without even trying to return a grin. The class had gone completely silent as soon as I entered the classroom and I coughed uncomfortable, looking around. I swear there wasn’t a single person in class, who wasn’t staring at me. As soon as I met their glares, they looked down and got really busy reading in their books. I was too tired and upset to care, so I just ignored them all and started reading the pages in the book that our teacher had written down on the blackboard.
As soon as the school bell rang, I turned towards Ida.
“What the hell was that all about?” I demanded to know. She gave me a killer gaze, like if she could kill whoever she wanted to in the entire world, she would choose me right away.
“Oh, don’t act so innocent” she replied sarcastically. “The picture is everywhere, everyone has seen it.” I raised an eyebrow and looked confused over at her.
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about! What picture?” Ida picked up her phone and handed it over to me. When I saw the picture I was almost sure I was going to throw up immediately. I hurried to pick up my stuff and excused myself from Ida, before I ran out of the classroom and headed towards the ladies room. I locked myself in a stall, sat down on the toilet seat and started sobbing.
With tears running down my face, I drew my phone up from my pocket and went on facebook. There it was. The picture. A stupid brown haired girl lying down on a blanket by the lake, completely overwhelmed by the curly haired boy who was kissing her. I knew Deimante was a jealous bitch. I knew she wanted Harry freakin bad. But this? I’d never thought she would go this far. Even this was beyond her boundaries. She didn’t have the right to put out pictures of me with my boyfriend (if he was my boyfriend, I honestly wasn’t sure) on the internet and claim me for stealing her boyfriend.
I took a deep breath, whipped the tears away from my face and marched out in the hallway, ready to slap Deimante’s face if she came in my way. All the people in the hallway stared at me, whispered and pointed in my direction. I honestly felt like a criminal, like I’d killed someone. But I hadn’t. I’d just lived my life as a happy teenage girl for just a few days, and this was my payback.
Of course I had to run into the bitch herself sooner or later. She stood by her locker surrounded by all her friends and when I walked by she turned towards me, with a proud look on her face.
“So, how long were you planning to keep your little secret?” She asked in a sweet sarcastic way.
“It’s not your business” I snapped back, using all my self-control to not throw myself at her and rip her hair off.
“Well, me and Harry are quite close, so he probably would have told me sooner or later”. Yeah, right. She and Harry hadn’t been talking in ages, even I knew that, even though Harry hadn’t been talking much about his earlier relationship. Deimante continued talking, with her slutty voice.
“But what about you? I thought you and your friends were closer than this. How long were you planning to keep this from them? Don’t you trust each other?”
A crowd had started forming around us and I could see Ida and Ane in the back. They both had angry looks on their faces; not like they were angry at Deimante for being such a bitch to me, but like they were angry at me for not telling them. Of course I understood them, but I was going to tell them any time soon and what Deimante said about me not trusting them was definitely not true.
Because I’d just kept quiet, lost in my own thought, Deimante continued with her speech.
“And last but not least, I feel sorry for Nick. I mean, seriously girl – he’s had a crush on you forever and you just sneak behind his back with another guy? That’s not a very nice thing to do towards one of your closest mates.” This one really felt like a kick in the stomach. What? Nick having a crush on me? That was bullshit. We’d been best friends forever and we’d never been more than that. Or at least that’s what I thought, but I understood that there had been more than just a friendship when I shot a gaze over at Nick in the back of the crowd. He looked hurt and disappointed.
Deimante was just standing there waiting for me to either answer her back or have a break down. Even though I honestly had to say I was close to a break down, I didn’t want to give her that satisfaction. No matter what I said she would use against me anyway, so I didn’t know what to do.
“You’re unbelievable” was the only thing I said, before I turned around and made my way out of the crowd, leaving the hallway, the school and what used to be my normal happy life, behind me.
“Wait.. what? Back to London?” I let go of his hand. He looked hurt and he obviously understood that we’d had some misunderstandings.
“But Susann, I both live there and work there. I’ve got an important job, remember?” Of course I knew this, how couldn’t I? How come the thought about him going back home to London hadn’t hit me until now? I was tired of all these emotions and drama, so I just nodded.
“Yeah, I remember”. He reached out for me again and hugged my tightly.
“We’ll figure it out” he whispered into my ear.
—
When I got home I didn’t really know what to do. I was confused and a lot of thoughts were running through my mind at the same time. I figured I should just lie down on the couch and surf the internet for a little while, to get my mind off things. I was just scrolling down my Facebook timeline when a picture caught my attention – it was a picture of Deimante, Harry’s ex. I didn’t know why the picture caught my attention so fast, thinking about the fact that she posted pictures of herself 24/7. She had wavy brown hair and a really pretty face. Even though I hated every single part about her, I had to admit I was jealous of her looks.
I was just about to continue scrolling when I noticed something. It was something about her that looked very familiar, like I’d seen someone like her a short time ago. That’s when I got it, it was her hair. I was a hundred percent sure it was her back I’d seen running away from the bushes today, that’s why the hair had looked so familiar. That explained why Harry had acted so weird too, he’d probably noticed that it was her, without telling me. What the hell had she been doing in the bushes spying on me and Harry? Was she really sinking that low? Of course she was, I knew her – she would do anything to get Harry back in her life. I decided to forget about her and rather ask Harry about it tomorrow, so I went straight to bed.
It was 12 PM Sunday afternoon and I was on my way to the airport to say goodbye to Harry, before he was going back home to London. I’d already ordered plane tickets to come and visit him in a couple of weeks, but I still didn’t want him to leave. When I arrived at the airport I spotted him with four other lads and a man in the 40’s, probably their manager or something. When I got closer I recognized the four lads as Louis, Niall, Liam and Zayn, his fellow band mates. Awkward how me and Harry had been hanging out for the last week, but I still hadn’t met his four best friends. Except for at the signing, though, but there I was probably just another fan to them.
When I walked up to them Harry lit up and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, nothing passionate, just a simple hello kiss. He introduced me to the other guys and they all grinned at me and started chatting right away. It was obvious Harry had been talking a lot about me, because they knew more stuff about me than they should, after meeting me like a minute ago. I understood why Harry was so close to them though, because they were all amazing guys. I really enjoyed their company and Niall never failed to make me laugh. I had a feeling these were the type of guys I would have been friends with, if they weren’t famous and lived in my town.
We’d just been standing there chatting for almost 30 minutes when the man in the 40’s, or Paul as they called him, said it was time to leave. I felt my heart sink as I realized I wouldn’t see either Harry or the other boys in two weeks. I knew the time would run by really fast, because I was busy with school, soccer and everything, but I still couldn’t help but feeling sad anyway.
Harry almost commanded the others to go ahead, so that he could have a minute alone with me before he left. I waved at them and wished them a good flight back, before I turned towards Harry with a huge lump in my throat.
“So.. it’s time for me to leave” he said and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I was flattered he was sorry about leaving too, knowing it wasn’t just unilateral.
“Yes, I’m going to miss you…” I murmured and looked down on my converse shoes. I wasn’t really good at handling such kind of situations, so I found it easier to avoid eye contact.
“I’m gonna miss you too, honey”. He stroked my cheek carefully and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it seemed to get just bigger and bigger.
“We’ll see each other again in a couple of weeks, though” Harry assured me and then he kissed me passionately one last time, before he took his suitcase and headed towards the others. I just stood there watching him walk away and it wasn’t until he was out of sight I noticed tears running down my cheeks. I hurried to whip them away with the back of my hand, before I turned around and left the airport.
Later that night I remembered that I’d completely forgotten about asking Harry about Deimante. I was about to pick up my phone and text him, but I figured to just leave it. He’d seemed like his old self again at the airport today and I didn’t want to ruin that. Was it that important anyway? That bitch didn’t have the rights to interrupt us and our relationship. She should just stay away and mind her own business. She couldn’t do anything to us anyway, could she?
Even though I didn’t show it, I was a bit disappointed he hadn’t kissed me. Okay, he’d kissed me on my cheek, but I thought we were past that stage by now. Daydreaming back to the wonderful kiss last night, I started worrying if some of our magic had drifted away during the night.
—
I forgot my worries as soon as we reached the picnic blanket Harry had laid down on the lawn, right by the beautiful lake that glittered because of the sun’s reflection in the water. The blanket was covered up with red rose petals and in a basket I could spot some really yummy sandwiches and chocolate covered strawberries.
“You’re so sweet..” I murmured, more to myself than to Harry, but he obviously heard me because he squeezed my hand gently. We sat down and started chatting while eating the sandwiches, which btw, were twice as good as they looked. When I was done eating them I was so full, I couldn’t manage to take another bite.
“These are the most delicious sandwiches I’ve ever tasted” I admitted and patted my stomach. “Did you make them?”
“Yes, I did. I actually love cooking” Harry answered, looking a bit embarrassed.
“Well, then you’re an incredible cook” I laughed and smiled at him.
Even though I was so satisfied I could throw up any minute, I couldn’t say no to his chocolate covered strawberries. Especially now that I knew he’d fixed all this food on his own. I’d just had my third chocolate covered strawberry when Harry coughed uncomfortable.
“Uuuum, you’ve got some chocolate on your lips”.
“Ohh…” I blushed and was about to lick it away with my tongue when he stopped me.
“Wait, I’ll help you with that” he said and leaned forward. He closed his eyes and kissed me again, just as perfect as he’d kissed me last night at the bench. Everything was perfect, life was perfect, he was perfect. When he pulled away I decided it was about time I got a bit brave as well.
“Wait, I think you’ve got some chocolate on your lips, too” I said cheekily and leaned towards him again. While we kissed I ran my fingers through his smooth curls, and he lay me down on the blanket, leaning over me.
I was almost a bit worried he was about to rip my clothes off, when we both noticed a camera flash and pulled away from each other immediately.
“Where did that come from?” Harry whispered and glanced around.
“I dunno…” I answered him back and noticed how worried he looked. “The paparazzies couldn’t have found us here, could they?”
Harry shrugged.
“You never know.. they could be anywhere.” We’d just started calming down when there was a rustling in the bushes and we spotted a dark haired girl run away. Definitely too young to be a paparazzi, maybe my age or a bit older, I wasn’t quite sure. Even though I’d just seen the girl from behind, there was something about her that I’d seen before, I just couldn’t place her. Harry had a weird look on his face as well.
Nothing serious had really happened, but the date was kind of ruined anyway. Harry continued acting weird as we packed up our stuff and left the romantic spot by the lake. He offered to walk with me as far as he could outside public, so I let him tag along with me. He was starting to get back to his old self, but we didn’t say much as we walked. We just strolled along the lake hand in hand, like an old married couple.
He didn’t speak before we’d reached the limit for as far as he could walk with me.
“So I had a really great time today” he met my eyes and I felt a chill down my spine. “I’m sorry about whoever interrupted us, I never thought something like that would happen..”
“Hey, don’t worry! It doesn’t matter and it wasn’t your fault” I assured him, before he took everything out on himself. “And I had an incredible time too.”
“I would really like to see you again before I’m heading back to London tomorrow.”
“Wait.. what? Back to London?” I let go of his hand. He looked hurt and he obviously understood that we’d had some misunderstandings.
“But Susann, I both live there and work there. I’ve got an important job, remember?” Of course I knew this, how couldn’t I? How come the thought about him going back home to London hadn’t hit me until now? I was tired of all these emotions and drama, so I just nodded.
“Yeah, I remember”. He reached out for me again and hugged my tightly.
“We’ll figure it out” he whispered into my ear.
“Anyway, I have to go home now” I said and waved shyly, before I turned my back to him.
I’d just started walking when he hugged me from behind and whispered into my ear.
“I guess I’ll see you around, then?”
—
I almost flew on a pink cloud all the way back home, lost in my own little wonderland. Fortunately I’d just been gone for half an hour, even though it felt like decades, so Ane and Ida bought my excuse about the long queue and that I’d met Josh and a few other guys and started talking. I promised myself that I was going to tell them the truth, I just had to find the right time.
When I went to bed that night I couldn’t help but send Harry a text.
“Looking forward to seeing you again;-) x.” I smiled at my cute little joke, before I put my phone away and fell asleep as soon as my head was on the pillow. In my dreams everything was perfect; I was Harry’s girlfriend, all the One Direction fans loved me and my friends and I were closer than ever.
The next morning my phone woke me up, the ridiculously loud ringtone almost gave me a heart attack. I grabbed my phone, not bothering to see who it was.
“Hello” I grunted half-unconscious, with a groggy morning voice.
“Oh sorry honey, did I wake you?” My favorite voice answered in the other end. His voice was so unexpected I immediately sat up in bed and was completely awake within a few seconds. I wish he could call me every day before school, so that I could get up as fast as this every morning. I cleared my throat and laughed.
“Hahah yeah, kinda… but it’s okay, if you hadn’t called, I would have wasted my entire day sleeping”.
Harry’s childish laugh rang in my ears and I could just imagining him sitting there with a cheeky smile on his face.
“So now that I was so nice to call and wake you up, I think you owe me one.”
“Like what?” I giggled, hoping for a good suggestion.
“What about picnic for two by the lake?” He answered, trying to be super serious, but his cute laugh ruined it.
“Sounds perfect” I said right away, playing hard-to-get wasn’t going to help me anyway, so why bother? We agreed to meet by the lake at 3 PM and hung up on each other. I lied back in my bed and smiled at the ceiling like a goof. Was it normal to feel like this about a guy or was I just crazy? I honestly didn’t know, but for now I was perfectly fine with this feeling.
On my way to meet Harry a few hours later, I realized I spent so much time thinking about him, I almost forgot my actual life. I had a football match today, and an important one as well. In any other occasion I would have canceled whatever plans I had, but not today, today was different. For the first time in ages I wanted to do something else more than I wanted to play football. I felt a bit bad, but I promised myself I wouldn’t miss any other matches this season and texted Nick that I couldn’t make it today, because I wasn’t feeling well.
We’d agreed to hang out on more private places for now, because I hadn’t told my friends yet and because Harry didn’t want me to get lobbed at by all the hysterical paparazzies. That’s why he’d picked the lake for a picnic, and I was perfectly satisfied with his choice. I knew it sounded cheesy, but I kind of considered the lake ‘our place’. My thoughts went back to our conversation the day before and in my mind I relived the amazing kiss that he’d blown me away with.
A couple of minutes later I spotted Harry sitting on the bench we’d been sitting on just yesterday. The sight of him made my heart jump and I couldn’t wait to spend an entire evening with him, without any drama and tears. I was just about to reach the bench when he turned and a wide smile lit up his face. I couldn’t help but noticing how handsome he looked. Sure, he always looked handsome, but it was something different about him today, like I really saw him for the first time. I didn’t usually notice peoples clothes that much, but the way he dressed caught my attention anyway. He was wearing beige chinos, an ordinary white t-shirt, a grey blazer and black Rayban Wayfarer sunglasses, almost similar to the ones I was wearing. What caught most of my attention was the grey blazer. It was so classy and dressed up, but still he managed to make it look really laid back and cool, just perfect for a normal date.
I, however, hadn’t managed to come up with some amazing outfit; tight black jeans, a white oversized t-shirt and a denim vest. After all, I was going on a date by the lake, not some kind of beauty competition.
Harry stood up and started walking towards me. I grinned and waved at him, trying to keep cool, when what I mostly wanted to do, was to run right into his muscular arms and kiss him again. Crazy how desperate an unkissed girl (or at least until yesterday), can get over wanting to kiss someone again. But when I remember that this someone was freaking Harry Styles, I didn’t consider myself so crazy after all.
When I reached him, he just carefully kissed my cheek and took my hand in his.
“You look beautiful today” he complimented and I swear I went completely red within tenths of seconds. I tried to shake off the feeling and complimented him back.
“You look quite handsome today as well”.
Even though I didn’t show it, I was a bit disappointed he hadn’t kissed me. Okay, he’d kissed me on my cheek, but I thought we were past that stage by now. Daydreaming back to the wonderful kiss last night, I started worrying if some of our magic had drifted away during the night.
“Why haven’t you been returning any of my texts?” Harry demanded to know. I kept quiet and looked down on my feet, afraid to answer him. He put his hands on both sides of my face, forcing me to face him.
“If you don’t like me and don’t want me to bother you anymore, just tell me. I just need to know, so please”. He cleared his throat and repeated the three letters that I feared the most
“Why?”
—
I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts
“can we go somewhere else to talk?” Harry just nodded and we went outside in the clear night. We walked for a bit before I found courage to talk.
“I’m scared, okay? That’s it” I admitted, looking away from him. We stopped and sat down on a bench by the lake.
“Would you mind telling me what scares you?” Harry asked carefully, not trying to force me into anything. Suddenly all my feelings overwhelmed me and I started sobbing. If I’d been with anyone else but Harry, I’d felt embarrassed right now, but for some reason I didn’t around him. He just whipped the tears of my cheeks and stroke my back, waiting for me to answer.
“I don’t know” I murmured “nothing. A lot. Everything.. I’m just so confused”. When he didn’t answer, I figured he wasn’t completely satisfied with my explanation, so decided it was time to let him into my thoughts.
“I’ve never been in love before” I admitted “not just because no one has ever liked me, but because I’ve never considered boys more than just friends. I hate the fact that you control my feelings so much, no matter if I want you to or not. And I also don’t have any idea why you’re even interested in me, because you’re a world famous pop star and you can get whoever you want. And last thing is that it’s freaking me out to hide it from everyone, because I suck at lying to people and I feel bad every time.”
Harry kept quiet for a little while, like he was digesting what I’d just told him.
“I honestly don’t know what to say” Harry murmured “but one thing is for sure – even though I can get a lot of girls because of my fame, I don’t want any models or actresses. I want you, because you’re down to earth, laid back and fun, and you make me week in my knees” he blushed a little bit at the last word and smiled insecure. “And I’m not going to stop you from telling your friends and family. If that’s what you want to do, I’m not going to stop you. I just want you the bes…”. He didn’t get time to finish the sentence, because I almost threw myself at him, giving him a big hug. Tears streamed down my face and I pulled back from him.
“I’m so ridiculous” I laughed and whipped my tears with the back of my hand.
“No, you’re not” Harry disagreed “you’re absolutely perfect”.
I smiled through my tears
“so where does this leave us?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, how would you feel if I kissed you?” His eyes were playful, but his voice was a hundred percent serious.
“There’s only one way to find out” I bantered back and lent closer.
My heart beat faster and faster as Harry came closer. To be honest, I’d never kissed anyone before. Harry, however, had probably loads of experiences with this kind of stuff. I was almost about to bail when his soft lips met mine and I forgot about all of my doubts, just living in the moment. It was obvious Harry had done this before and words couldn’t describe how good his kissing was. He held my face in his hands and continued kissing me passionately, without letting go. We just sat there on the bench in what felt like forever, completely lost in each other’s company. When he pulled away, we were both breathless and I started giggling, feeling happier than I had in a long time.
“That was my first kiss…” I whispered, not caring about what he thought about me anymore.
“Well, in that case, you did great” he whispered in my ear and kissed me gently on my lips one more time. We kissed for a little longer before I remembered the reasons I’d actually gone to the store.
“Oh shit! I have to get home, my friends are waiting.”
“Are you going to tell them?” He asked me, tussling with my hair while looking into my eyes.
“Yes, but not yet. I’ll have to find the courage first” I shrugged “I’m a bit worried about how they’ll react.”
“Whatever you want, Susann” Harry smiled cheekily at me, making the butterflies in my stomach go mad.
“Anyway, I have to go home now” I said and waved shyly, before I turned my back to him.
I’d just started walking when he hugged me from behind and whispered into my ear.
“I guess I’ll see you around, then?”
I was almost about to fall asleep when a text popped in on my iPhone and almost made me jump out of my bed.
“Looking forward to seeing you again;-) x.” It was from Harry. Oh man, I said and crushed my face into my pillow. Still I couldn’t help but smile, but I didn’t have any idea what to do…
—
“Harry Styles” I typed in on Google on my mac book. I was in history class and the stuff we were going through was so boring I would most likely die any minute. I felt like such a stalker, but I couldn’t tame my curiosity. Harry’s birthday was at the 1st of February, which means he was 17 now. Before he got famous he lived here, in Cheshire, with his mum, stepdad and sister, Gemma. I was scrolling down Wikipedia, reading, when I heard someone behind me.
My heart skipped a beat and I hurried to shut my computer.
“What secrets do you have on there?” Ida teased as she sat down next to me. I just laughed and avoided her question
“so what are you guys up to after school?”
“I don’t have any plans, why?” She answered, and I felt relieved she didn’t notice me avoiding her question.
“Fancy hanging out? We can have a girls night at my place or something” I suggested “with popcorn, chick flicks and stuff.” I saw a smile spread across her face as she nodded frantically. This was exactly the reaction I’d expected, I knew her too well. I felt so bad about hiding my love life (or whatever it was) for my friends, so I somehow had to do something nice for them.
It was 9 PM Friday night and me, Ida and Ane were wrapped up in blankets and pillows, lying on the living room floor. We had the house to ourselves for the entire evening and we were just halfway through Mean Girl, when my phone rang. I picked it up and saw Harry’s name on the screen. Brilliant timing, I thought and blushed, before I hung up and turned my phone off.
“Who was it?” Ane asked me curious, the expression in my face had obviously revealed me.
“I didn’t notice the number, so it was probably just the wrong number” I babbled, paying attention to the movie again.
When the movie was over we were completely out of popcorn, so I volunteered to go to the store and buy some more. I jumped into some flip-flops and put on a hoodie, before I hurried out the door. We probably would have survived without more popcorn, but I just needed some time alone. Harry had been texting me all week and I hadn’t answered him even once. Why did I have to be such a coward? Why was I avoiding him so much? I pretended to myself I didn’t know, but deep inside I knew why. I was scared. Simple as that, I was running away instead of facing my fears.
I arrived at the store 5 minutes later and went inside. I grabbed some popcorn and a few bottles of coke, before I went to queue. When I reached the cash desk a thought suddenly hit me – of course I’d forgotten money when I hurried out the door, desperate to get some privacy. I was just about to pick up my phone and call one of the girls, when someone tapped me on my shoulder
“do you need to borrow some money?” I already knew who the voice came from before I turned to face the curly haired boy, who’d haunted my thoughts for the last week.
I smiled brightly at him and tried to act normal, as I took the money and paid. Harry paid for his chips, before he went up to me. I’d expected him to be happy to see me, but he almost seemed angry or at least hurt.
“I’m so sorry about that, so stupid of me to not bring money. I’ll give it back to you as fast as possible” I apologized.
“I don’t care about those stupid money, Susann”.
“Then why are you so upset?” I acted confused, even though I kind of already knew.
“Why haven’t you been returning any of my texts?” Harry demanded to know. I kept quiet and looked down on my feet, afraid to answer him. He put his hands on both sides of my face, forcing me to face him.
“If you don’t like me and don’t want me to bother you anymore, just tell me. I just need to know, so please”. He cleared his throat and repeated the three letters that I feared the most
“Why?”
“Louis, it went alright!” Harry bragged into the phone. Oh man, I thought. He was reporting it to his soul mate? I’d never been a One Direction fan, but it was impossible to not know about Larry Stylinson. “Tell your boyfriend I say hi!” I teased and lay back down on the lawn, what a weird day this had been.
—
Harry and I chilled on the lawn for hours, talking about absolutely everything. I couldn’t believe I was sitting there, talking to a guy who was almost a stranger to me. It was easy to talk to him though, I felt like I could really be myself around him, without worrying if I was going to say something wrong. And I hated to admit that I’d been wrong, but I had – he wasn’t a diva at all. If it wasn’t for the fact that my friends were talking about him and the band 24 hours 7 days a week, I wouldn’t even have noticed that he was famous. Instead of going on about himself and his career, he mostly asked me questions; about me, my friends and family, school, everything. Might sound a bit stalker ish, but I found it cute.
“Oh fuck” I gasped, when I checked my phone, to see that it was almost 10:30 PM and I had three missed calls from my mom. How the hell was I supposed to explain this to her? I just hoped she hadn’t called Ida or her mother, because that would give me a bit of a mess to get away with, when I got home.
“What’s wrong?” Harry replied immediately, looking almost horrified. I laughed at his reaction and explained the situation.
“Wow, I wasn’t really planning to get you in trouble” he smiled with an angel face. I laughed at his cute expression and was about to stand up when he grabbed my wrist and whispered
“but before you go…” I glanced into his green eyes, feeling completely lost.
“May I take you out on an actual date, where I don’t have to force you to come and meet me?”
“Hahah, if I didn’t want to meet you, I wouldn’t have come…” I avoided his question, feeling so awkward about the entire situation. Of course I wanted to go out with him again, but should I? I couldn’t hide this from my friends forever and this dating thing wasn’t me at all.
Harry sent me the ‘answer my question or I’ll die inside’ look, so I decided that I had to go with my heart.
“Yeah, of course I’ll go out with you again”. He smiled brightly and looked relieved, like he’d almost expected me to say no.
“But on one condition – my friends can’t know, because that would make this whole situation really hard”. Just the thought of how jealous my two best friends would be if I told them, almost made me cringe.
“Yeah, that’s probably for the best” he agreed “if the media catch us, you might get a lot of attention, that I’m not sure you actually want”.
I was just about to go when he stopped me for the second time. I wouldn’t ever get home, if he didn’t let me go soon, but he was so cute I couldn’t leave him.
“I’ll need your number, so I’m sure that you’ll keep your promise” Harry teased and took his iPhone up from his pocket. We both exchanged numbers and then he let go of me, waving after me, as I started on my way back home. Was this reality? I caught myself thinking. I was almost embarrassed, this was absolutely not my usual self. I’d always liked guys, but I’d never considered them more than just buddies or team mates, but this was obviously different. I had a love-hate relationship to the way Harry made me feel. I hated the fact that he could control my feelings more than I could and that this felt completely wrong and new to me, but the hours I’d spent on the football court with him were unforgettable.
I’d planned to just sneak into my room and go to bed right away, but I ran into my mom as soon as I got inside the house. Damn it, I thought.
“Hi sweetheart, did you have a fun at Ida’s place?” At first I just stared at her like a freak, before I realized how suspicious I acted.
“Uum, it was great” I murmured and smiled politely to her. How the fuck was I supposed to continue seeing Harry behind everyone’s back? I sucked at lying and I didn’t like doing it either. I suddenly didn’t feel well and decided to go to bed right away, without any food.
When I was lying in bed ten minutes later, I just kept on staring up in the ceiling, because I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts spun around in my head, making me crazy. Meeting Harry today had been wonderful, but now I started regretting that I’d got myself into this. I was almost about to fall asleep when a text popped in on my iPhone and almost made me jump out of my bed.
“Looking forward to seeing you again;-) x.” It was from Harry. Oh man, I said and crushed my face into my pillow. Still I couldn’t help but smile, but I didn’t have any idea what to do…
I lay down on the lawn and watched the clouds fly over the blue sky. I’d almost fell asleep when someone coughed
“I wasn’t sure if you would show up.”
—
Harry sat down on the lawn right next to me, but not too close.
“Right back at ya” I answered and realized how stupid it sounded.
“Hah, I didn’t really ask you to come here and then not show up myself” he ensured me, shrugging. I smiled and our eyes met for just a second, before I laughed and looked in another direction. It was quiet for a bit and I honestly have to say I felt quite uncomfortable. I just didn’t get why I felt like this around him? I had so many guy friends who I hung out with absolutely all the time and played football with, we went to football matches together and everything. What made Harry different from all the other boys? Probably the fact that he was staring me down, like a psychopath.
I couldn’t take the silence anymore, so I decided to break the ice.
“What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
He suddenly seemed a bit more insecure and his cheeks turned light pink. He drew his fingers through his curly hair and took a deep breath.
“Well, this is a bit embarrassing, so please don’t judge me” he smiled at me apologizing and I nodded passionately.
“The thing is that when I first ran into you the other day, I thought it was something special about you, like you wasn’t like any other girl I’ve met. And when you didn’t want to hang out with me, I got a bit curious. This might sound a bit diva ish, but I’m not used to getting rejected a lot. I figured I should just leave you alone and forget about you, but when I saw you at the signing I got surprised that you actually showed up there.”
“I promised my friends” I interrupted, but he blew me off and continued talking.
“I did the first thing that hit my mind and that was to ask you to meet me here. I know I sound like a freak or something, but I’ve just got this feeling in my stomach that I shouldn’t give up on you so fast. Which is why I would really like to get to know you better, because you seem like a quite nice girl.”
“You’ll regret this when you figure what a bitch I actually am” I joked and laughed “but I have to say I’m flattered.”
“Puuh.. that’s good” Harry answered relieved “I wasn’t completely sure whether you would react like this, or just beat me up and run away” he bantered, I could feel that things got a bit less awkward between us, as I laughed with him.
“Well, I’m a big and scary football player, you know, so I would have been a bit worried too”.
He continued laughing while he brought his phone up from his pocket and entered a number quickly.
“Louis, it went alright!” Harry bragged into the phone. Oh man, I thought. He was reporting it to his soul mate? I’d never been a One Direction fan, but it was impossible to not know about Larry Stylinson. “Tell your boyfriend I say hi!” I teased and lay back down on the lawn, what a weird day this had been.
I grabbed my jacket and left McDonald’s. On my across the parking lot I spotted Deimante, one of my least favorite people. She wasn’t just make-up with a face on it, she was also a bitch to everyone except her friends, and I think she was in a relationship with Harry before he got famous. She told everyone that ending their relationship was a mutual decision, because Harry was too busy with the band, but we all knew that he actually dumped her because he figured what a self-centered bitch she was.
—
When I got home it was 6 PM, so I still had some time before I was going to meet Harry, which I’d kind of decided to do on my way home. Okay, I’d also changed my mind four times on the 15 minutes’ walk, so I would might change my mind again a few times before 8 anyway.
I felt gross and sweaty after the signing, so I decided to take a shower. When I was done showering, I put on my bathrobe and went to my bedroom to find some clothes. For the first time in ages a thought hit my mind – what the hell was I supposed to wear!? I usually didn’t care too much about what I was wearing. When I woke up in the morning, I threw on the first clothes I found and I was often wearing sportswear or football jerseys. I didn’t have anyone to impress at school or in my hometown or anything, so why should I even care? All the boys considered me one of them anyway, and I doubted that they really cared whether my t-shirt was white or pink.
Pink! Exactly, that was what I needed. I dug deep into my closet, I knew I had a pink tank top in there somewhere. I finally found it and drew it over my head.
“Oh man, I look like the pink panter” I said loudly to myself, taking it off as fast as I could. Screw Harry Styles, I didn’t care about how I looked in front of him. It wasn’t like I was going to the football court to impress him, I was going there to ask him what the fuck he wanted. Still, I couldn’t help but spraying on a little bit of the perfume that I’d got for my birthday last year. I’d used it like twice or something, because I wasn’t really a big fan of perfumes. Sure it smelled good, but I just hated it when I passed people in the hallway at school and five minutes later, I could still smell them.
I ended up with a high wasted denim shorts and the oversized grey t-shirt that I loved so much, because it was so comfortable. I braided my long hair and hung it down my right shoulder. It was 07:45 PM and I was tying my converse on, when my mom walked in.
“Hi honey!” She smiled enthusiastic “you smell good, who are you off to meet?” Deep inside I’d hoped that no one would notice the perfume, but that was obviously too much to ask for.
“I’m just going over to Ida’s place for a little while, we’re going to watch a movie or something, I think. I’ll be back in a few hours”. She glared at me while raising an eyebrow, so I grabbed my sunglasses and rushed out the door, before she had time to ask me anymore unnecessary questions. Parents were just too curious some times, especially moms or more specifically – my mom.
As I got closer and closer to the football court, I started regretting that I’d decided to go. What if it was just a prank? What if he was hiding in the bushes, just to check if I actually bought it? The only thing that kept me from turning around and walk straight home, was the thought of the way he’d stared at me at the signing. It just didn’t look like he was planning to make a fool out of me, so I just hoped he wasn’t as good an actor as a singer. Plus, I was curious about what he actually wanted to talk to me about. Maybe he was a secret football manager who wanted to sign me, because he’d been spying on me during football practice and thought I was really good? Hahah, not actually a possible option, but you never knew with these celebrity boys.
I was almost relieved when I arrived the empty football court – at least that meant he hadn’t been waiting for me. I lay down on the lawn and watched the clouds fly over the blue sky. I’d almost fell asleep when someone coughed
“I wasn’t sure if you would show up.”
I figured I should just sit down and wait for them, so I sat down on the lawn and took the piece of paper up from my pocket again. I had to check out those miraculous autographs that everyone was so crazy about. At first I could see nothing but doodles, before a few words in the downer part of the white paper caught my attention. Oh man, my heart skipped a beat as I indicated the words. What the hell was I going to do now?
—
“Susann! I need 2 talk 2 you, please meet me at the football court at 8 PM tonight .X Harry” the little note said. There were three options – 1. This Harry guy was a creepy stalker who wanted to get in my pants. 2. He was so used to getting everything he wanted, that he had to prove to himself that I couldn’t just reject him like that. 3. He was actually interested and wanted to get to know me.
The thought of the last option made butterflies fly in my stomach, even though I definitely didn’t want them to. I wasn’t interested in this guy, he wasn’t my type at all and he could find way better than me anyway, so why even bother? The thought of him showing up at the football court without anyone else being there made me feel a bit bad, though. It wouldn’t hurt to show up, would it? Just to ask him what he wanted. I had to think about it, I still had a few hours left. Maybe I’d even manage to forget about it? I knew I wouldn’t, but I could still hope.
When I’d finally found Ane and Ida in the crowd, we decided to go to McDonald’s and get some food. We were all hungry after all the queuing and being pushed around for the last hours, so we needed to sit down. While we were eating Ane and Ida chatted eagerly about the signing and how handsome the boys had looked, and that Niall or something obviously remembered Ane from when they met them last week. I was really happy for them, but I didn’t manage to pay attention. Every time I tried to join the conversation, my thoughts flew to other things and I got quiet again.
I was chewing my burger like a cow, looking out of the window, when I noticed that the girls were trying to get my attention. Damn it, Ida had obviously asked me something, but what!?
“Huh?” I looked at her, with an apologizing grin. This happened too often and I felt as bad every time, but I just couldn’t help it.
“I was just asking you what you thought about the signing” she replied “is something wrong, Susann? You seem a bit distant today”. Damn it, was it that visible? I couldn’t actually go like ‘naah, it’s nothing.. I’m just thinking about the fact that Harry Styles from One Direction wants to meet me tonight and I don’t know what he wants’. It just didn’t work that way, I couldn’t tell them.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a bit tired after the signing. I get a bit claustrophobic in small rooms with lots of people, so the signing was just a bit exhausting.” I explained, feeling a bit bad about lying right into their faces. Okay, it wasn’t really a lie, because it was true about the claustrophobic thing, but I was honestly feeling way better now.
Even though I felt bad about it, I decided to continue playing on the lie and told them that I didn’t feel good, and wanted to go home. I grabbed my jacket and left McDonald’s. On my across the parking lot I spotted Deimante, one of my least favorite people. She wasn’t just make-up with a face on it, she was also a bitch to everyone except her friends, and I think she was in a relationship with Harry before he got famous. She told everyone that ending their relationship was a mutual decision, because Harry was too busy with the band, but we all knew that he actually dumped her because he figured what a self-centered bitch she was.
