Maybe it was just me? Maybe Harry wasn’t unsatisfied at all. I’d almost convinced myself that I was just imagining this when I heard someone whisper behind me.
“He was probably so nervous because of this girl who is being a total bitch to him. Susann or whatever she’s called, the girl he tweeted about. I bet it’s her fault Harry’s feeling so miserable right now”.
When the show was over, I didn’t really have any idea what to do. Before I got the time to do anything at all, I bumped into Paul again and he offered to take me backstage. Perfect! I had to talk to Harry, no matter if I wanted to or not. Therefore I silently followed Paul through some doors and corridors, before we ran into Louis, Zayn, Niall and Liam. I congratulated them all with the great performance and they all seemed surprised to see me. Except Niall of course, who just looked in another direction.
“Wait, what are you doing here? Harry said you couldn’t “make it”?” Louis asked me with an inquiring look, and I could hear his sarcasm when he said “make it”. Louis and Harry were really close and talked about absolutely anything, so I wasn’t surprised he’d told him about our fight.
“UUuum.. well, I made it in the last minute” I said and sent him a warning look. “Harry doesn’t know I’m here, does he?”
“Well, we didn’t even know, so I doubt he knows either, unless you’ve told him?” Liam asked politely.
“No, I didn’t tell him” I answered and glared over at Niall, who acted all innocent.
“It was so stressful before the show, that I didn’t get time to tell him” Paul shrugged. “He’s in his dressing room” he told me and pointed towards a door down the corridor.
I walked towards the door and knocked it carefully three times. No response. I knocked three more times and when no one answered this time either, I opened the door silently.
“Harry, are you here?” I coughed uncomfortable and looked around.
“I’m here” a tearful voice answered me from the couch in the back of the room. As I walked up to him, he turned around in the couch and noticed who it was. His eyes were red from crying and he hurried to whip the tears away with his sleeve. Then he stood up.
“Susann, what are you doing here?” A mixture of a smile and a confused look spread across his face. He kept on staring at me with an admiring look. “Wow, you look incredible tonight! I could barely notice you.” I explained that I’d gone to London because I didn’t want to waste my plane tickets and that I’d seen his tweets and DM’s.
“So my tweeting worked?” He smiled goofily through the tears.
“Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t call you right away” I murmured, feeling a bit guilty and embraced him.
“It’s okay, but we need to talk” when he pulled away from me, I took his arm and draw him towards the couch. We sat down and faced each other, not too close. I understood that he took distance on purpose because he didn’t want me to feel pressured.
“So Pixie Lott, huh?” He asked and raised an eyebrow. As soon as he said it, I realized how much I’d overreacted.
“Yeah, I’d had a tough time at school and almost lost my friends, and then I saw that picture of you with her from that party…” I murmured a bit embarrassed. “I probably overreacted, though… but right then it just seemed so realistic, because I’m just a random girl from Cheshire. I’m not pretty, I’m not fit, I don’t have an amazing talent and I’m not famous..” When I said this, I suddenly started sobbing. Ever since I’d seen the picture of Harry with Pixie Lott I’d put a stone mask on my face and just acted like I was angry. And I’d been extremely angry as well, but now I realized how hurt I’d been too. All my feelings came out at the same time and of course, as they always seemed like doing, they came out when I was around Harry.
Now he moved closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder.
“Your confidence sucks, did you know that, honey?” He smiled at me. “You have to believe me when I tell you how beautiful and amazing you are.” I smiled a bit through my tears as well. I’d never had a really bad confidence, but around Harry it seemed to run away. Him liking me for being just me still seemed so surreal.
“And all that stuff about Pixie Lott; I’m definitely not dating her, because you’re my girlfriend and I love you. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit this, but I was quite drunk at that party. And I’m not even allowed to drink yet…” He laughed a bit and looked down. Wait what? He’d been drunk? I was almost about to burst out about Niall telling me that he’d been completely sober the entire time, when I realized that Harry didn’t know about our little meeting at Nando’s and hanging out afterwards. I couldn’t believe Niall had lied to me and told me that Harry had been sober. Okay, I actually could believe it… Harry obviously hadn’t noticed that I was totally lost in my own thoughts, so he continued talking.
“Anyway.. I can barely remember talking to her at that party at all.” Even though I was really angry at Niall for lying right into face, I was really glad that Harry had been drunk, because that meant that nothing in the pictures was real. When I realized this I almost threw myself at Harry and kissed him. He leant over me and returned the kiss eagerly.
“I’ve really missed this..” he whispered into my ear and I giggled.