“Flight to London is taking off in 15 minutes, please get to your gate” a woman announced over the speaker. I was at the airport, just ready to take my first ever flight on my own. While I walked towards the gate, I could feel the butterflies go crazy in my stomach. I couldn’t believe I was actually heading to the United Kingdom, more specifically - London. I’d been there once a couple of years ago with my dad and ever since I’d always wanted to go back, and this summer it was time for my big dream to come true.

I was going to visit my friend, Susann, who went there last year as an exchange student. I hadn’t seen her since last fall, almost a year ago, so I was really excited about seeing her again as well. We’d only known each other for a year when she left, but we had a very close relationship. We always thought the same stuff, which was quite creepy and extremely awesome. We also shared the passionate love for the British/Irish boy band, One Direction. Sometimes I suspect her going to England as an exchange student just to live nearby them. She probably would have done that, like seriously.

The woman’s voice interrupted my thoughts, and reminded me that I should probably get on that freaking plane, before I ended up stuck in this hell aka Norway for the rest of the summer. So I hurried up to the desk with my passport, before entering the plane. I found my seat, sat back and put my headphones on. I turned One Direction’s newest album on and looked out through the small window, this was definitely going to be the best summer ever.

—

“Sandra!” Susann shouted as she ran towards me at the airport, giving me a huge hug.
“I’ve missed you”, she said, with a big smile on her face.
“I’ve missed you, too”, I answered and gave her another hug. As we walked towards the car we chatted like never before, and even though we hadn’t seen each other in almost a year, it wasn’t awkward at all. By the time we drove up her driveway at her new house, she’d already mentioned One Direction like five times. Same old Susann, same old.

I was just done unpacking my stuff and sat down on my bed, feeling tired after all the travelling. Susann looked at me with a cheeky smile on her face, like she was hiding something from me.
“What is it?” I wanted to know.
“What is what?” She laughed with a little bit of banter in her voice, but she knew exactly what I was talking about, I could see it in her face.
“What are you hiding from me?” I demanded to know, lifting an eyebrow.
 Grinning like a stupid idiot she went to her purse and found two pieces of paper.
“SURPRISE, BLONDIE!” She screamed, pushing the two pieces of paper into my face.

I screamed as loud as I’d never done in my entire life and I was sure all the neighbors within a mile could hear me. The two pieces of paper wasn’t just some random pieces of paper, they were freaking 1D tour tickets. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster, and finally I let my inner fangirl out, jumping up and down while crying. This just wasn’t possible, this couldn’t be happening.

—

“So how the hell did you get those tickets?” I asked Susann. We were enjoying Peri Peri chicken at Nandos, our number one favorite place to eat.
“Umm well, you remember when I told you that I didn’t get tickets? It was actually just a joke, but I just wanted to surprise you”.
“You evil bitch!” I joked, acting like I was going to give her the biggest bitch slap of all times.

The fact that we were freaking going to see our favorite band perform live had just sunk in, when another thought hit my mind and I panicked. What the hell was I suppose to wear? There might was a chance that my big celebrity crush, Niall Horan, was going to see me in the crowd, and I had to look good. I honestly didn’t like choosing favorites in the band because I loved all of them so much, but I’d always had an eye for Niall. He was handsome, cute, insecure (which made him even cuter), he had the most adorable laugh and the voice of an angel. His Irish accent was also overwhelming, he was just absolutely perfect. I wish I could tell him that someday, making him realize that he was beautiful.

While I was daydreaming about my wedding with Niall, Susann suddenly hit me and I came back to reality.
“I’ve definitely found you the perfect dress”, she said with satisfied smile, pointing towards a shop window. It was a short, navy blue dress with sequins all over it. Even though it looked really fancy I knew I could dress it down a bit with a couple of cute pumps, a leather jacket and some awesome accessories.
“It’s perfect” I agreed, giving her a high five.

—

Everything was set for the biggest night of my entire life. The dress fit me perfectly, and I’d found the perfect shoes and accessories. I checked my makeup one last time, looking at my reflection in the mirror. My curly blonde hair lied down my shoulders, I pushed it carefully behind my ear and put on some more lip gloss, before putting it back down in my purse.
“Come on, Sandra! You look good, okay? Now we have to hurry, unless you want all this makeup and clothing to be totally wasted” Susann fussed “I thought I was the slow one…”

“DAMN IT! This queue goes slower than a turtle walks backwards” Susann complained. We we’re right in the middle of London, on our way to Wembley arena, where the concert was taking place. Obviously we weren’t the only ones who were going to the concert, because there were cars absolutely everywhere. We’d been in the same queue for about 15 minutes now and it hadn’t moved an inch. 
“What if we don’t make it in time?” I said worried and checked the watch on my arm for the hundredth time during the last couple of minutes. I could feel that I was getting really tense whilst the panic was taking over, it was only 15 minutes left to the concert. Why were we always out in the last minute? We were doomed, this was officially the end of my life.

Ten minutes later we rushed towards the Wembley arena, and the thought of being too late frightened me to death. Halfway across the parking lot Susann stopped and slapped herself in the face.
“Hey, come on! What’s wrong? We have to hurry!” I screamed at her, without bothering to stop waiting.
“I freaking forgot the tickets in the car” she cried out, and I could see the panic in her eyes. “Just go, I’ll catch up with you in a few minutes!” Susann turned and ran faster than I’d ever seen her run before, back across the parking lot.
 

I reached the main entrance a minute later, breathing heavily while my heart was pounding like crazy in my chest. Reminder to myself - get in shape before you’re going to a concert the next time.
I couldn’t see a human being anywhere nearby, so I just ran up the stairs to get to the door. It was locked. At that moment I was pretty sure that I could faint anytime, trust me. While the tears started to build up in my eyes and all the stuff around me got blurry, reality hit me again. There had to be another entrance!

—

I’d just started running when I heard someone shout my name.
“SANDRA! Hey, where are you going? Wait for me!” It was Susann. Wow, I hadn’t just forgotten about my best friend and the girl who’d got me those amazing tickets. I’d also forgotten about the girl who got me into this mess from the beginning, she was the one who infected me with the One Direction infection in the first place.

I told her that the main entrance was locked and that we had to find another way to get in, while we were running to the other site of the building. I wasn’t paying any attention to where I was running and suddenly I slammed into someone, and hit the ground.
A tall man with dark brown hair and a black suit, looked down at me.
“What are you guys up to?” He asked, with a serious voice.
“Uumm, I’m so sorry! We’re just locked out from the concert and…” I stammered and stopped halfway through the sentence. I spot his little nameplate that said “Paul Higgins, Tour manager”.
“Hey, wait a sec! You’re Paul Higgins, right? One Direction’s tour manager?”
“Yup, that’s me” he said with a smile on his face now, looking a bit more friendly. We told him that we’d been locked out from the concert because we got stuck in traffic, and he told us to follow him.

Paul followed us through a door with a big sign saying “Staff only” and after we’d entered, he turned around and said
“if we run into any of the boys, keep calm, okay?” Then he continued walking through a narrow corridor. My heart stopped for a few seconds and I made eye contact with Susann.
“Did he just say the boys, like in the boys?” She whispered frantically. I shrugged and started jogging to keep up with Paul, Susann followed right behind me.

My heart was beating crazily in my chest and I tried to control my nerves, when I suddenly heard the voice of an angel scream
“YEAH BUDDY!” with a beautiful Irish accent. Out of a door on our left, a blonde headed guy rushed out, almost running us down. I gasped for air, this whole starstruck thing awkwardly became reality.

“Oh, hi Paul! There you are, we’ve been..” he stopped when he noticed us in the back, looking confused over to Paul who explained that we’d been locked out.

A grin spread across his face as he introduced himself as Niall Horan. Yeah, like we didn’t already know. He was wearing a red piké shirt, beige chinos and white sneakers. The shirt was just tight enough to give us a little taste of his fit stomach and his nice abs. His perfect light blue eyes sparkled as he stared at us, waiting for a response.

Of course, Susann was the one to break the ice.
“Hi Niall! I’m Susann and this is my friend Sandra” she said with a confident voice “we’re from Norway, but I live here as an exchange student and Sandra is here in London for a couple of weeks to visit me.”
“Huh, Norway? Susann? That sounds familiar”, he scratched his head, like he was thinking really hard to figure out.
“Bring 1D To Me in Sweden” Susann hinted.
“The interview on the Norwegian radio, NRJ” she raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to remember.
“Oh yeah.. Sure, now I remember! It’s really nice to meet you again, how are you doing?” He asked, paying all his attention to her.
 

My heart sank as he looked her up and down, with what seemed like an admiring look. Of course he would pick her in front of me! She wasn’t tall, skinny and model-like, but she was that small cutie that he could protect. Her long brown hair lied on her right shoulder, naturally a bit wavy. Her eyes were chocolate brown and she had a small dimple on her left cheek that was only visible when she was laughing. Tonight she was wearing a simple black dress, with red pumps and a matching red nail polish and lipstick.
Sure she was my best friend and everything, she really deserved this and she was even the one who brought me here, but right now I just wanted to slap her so badly. How could she do this to me? She knew Niall was my number one celebrity crush and that I would die to get some attention from him. Well, obviously he’d totally overwhelmed her, and she had forgotten.

“Nialler, get your big, fat ass back in here!” Another familiar and quite husky voice yelled, right before he came out of the door and showed himself.
“Wooops, am I interrupting a romantic moment? Sorryyy..” Harry bantered, tousling Niall’s hair. His curly hair was even bigger in real life and his dimples made me want to bang him right away. True story. He was wearing a grey blazer, like he always did and his green eyes were full of banter. Niall told Harry about us getting locked out of the concert, and that Paul took us there. Harry said hi and shook both of our hands, before giving all his attention to Susann again. Really bitch, really? Was she going to get all of the attention now as well? Of course.

She continued chatting with Niall and Harry for another ten minutes, before they got cut off by the three other lads rushing out of the door.
“Hey!” Liam waved at us, before turning to Harry and Niall. “We have to get ready to get on stage now, it’s almost time.” They both nodded, and Niall asked us if we wanted to watch the concert from backstage, so that we could hang out some more later.
“Are you really asking us that question? Sure we want to” Susann answered in a flirty tone, before I even got time to open my mouth. In one way I was head over heels that Niall actually wanted us to join them backstage after the concert, but in another way I just wanted to get Susann as far away from him as possible. I was planning to confront her about the whole ‘I’m suddenly in love with Niall’ thing right away, but I decided to leave it, at least until we got home. Even though I was pissed, I didn’t want to ruin an incredible night. We were backstage with One Direction, weren’t we?

“We have to go now, but we’ll see you later!” Harry ensured, before he cheekily blew us a kiss and walked after the other lads. Niall seemed a bit insecure, but hugged both of us before walking away.
“Good luck, you’ll be great!” Susann yelled after him, but when he turned his eyes were only on me. Our eyes only met for a few seconds, but it was enough for me to feel a shiver down my spine. Oh God, I wanted him so badly.

—
The concert was absolutely amazayn. Susann and I were jumping up and down while singing along through the entire show, and when it was over I was exhausted. The lads were just incredible live, this was definitely the best concert I’d ever been to. Niall even winked at us from up on stage, or at least I like to think so. I’m not quite sure if it was just my imagination playing with my mind or reality. Let’s just go for my imagination, shall we?

We ran into the boys as soon as they got off stage, and they told us to follow them. Susann was already chatting with Louis and Harry about how great the concert was, like they’d known each other for years, not just a couple of hours. I just followed silently behind them, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

We spent the next couple of hours backstage with the lads, just chilling and having a laugh. I had to admit I was having a great time, even after what happened with Susann and Niall. I got along with all of them and Louis never failed to let me feel included with all his banter. I’d never thought it was possible for him to be even funnier than in the video diaries, but I was obviously wrong, because I’d never laughed so much in a long time.

Still something felt a bit wrong, Niall didn’t seem like himself. Okay, that’s a ridiculous thing to say when you’ve only seen him on YouTube and stuff, but there he always seemed so happy and cheerful, and he was laughing like 24/7. What had happened to my little Leprechauns? I was totally lost in my own thoughts, when Susann tapped my shoulder, trying to get some contact.
“Hey daydreamer, Earth is calling! It’s getting late, we should probably get home, unless we want to sleep on the porch” She laughed and stood up from the couch. Somehow I just wanted to stay backstage with the guys for the rest of my life, but in another way I also wanted to go home to my soft bed.
 

Harry asked for Susann’s phone number, and said that we had to hang out again sometime very soon. Susann seemed confident about the entire situation and gave all of the lads a big hug, before heading towards the door. I waved shyly at the boys and turned to find my jacket, when Niall yelled
“Hey curly, wait a sec!” And ran over to me with a small piece of paper in his hand, giving it to me, with a shy smile.
“Umm thanks, do you want me to give it to Susann?” I asked confused, looking down at the piece of paper with a phone number on it.
“Hahah.. No, silly!” Niall answered with a cheeky smile “it’s for you, call me sometime!” This made me even more confused and my head started spinning. Why was he giving his number to me, when he apparently was into my friend? Suddenly he leaned closer and closer and closer like he’d just read my mind, and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. He pushed a blonde curl behind my ear, whispering softly
“Your friends, they look good, but you look better” before winking and kissing me carefully on my right cheek.
“I hope I’ll see you soon then” he said before walking away. I stood there for about two minutes looking after him, clenching my fingers around the small piece of paper, never letting go of it.

“What were you up to?” Susann asked me curiously, when I met her outside Wembley five minutes later. “Did something happen? I can see that you’re blushing, hun. Spill it!” I knew I could tell her everything, but this? I mean, what if she had feelings for Niall, too? I decided to wait until I knew how she felt about him, so I hid the piece of paper discreetly in my pocket.
“Brr, I’m freezing. Let’s get home, I’ll tell you everything then!” I smiled, and reached for her arm, dragging her towards the closest cab.

—

“So what’s up with the piece of paper that you put in your pocket earlier?” Susann wanted to know. Omfg, could she see everything? I was honestly creeped out about how much she noticed, not even the tiniest little thing could slip her gaze. It was 2 AM in the morning and we were sitting in her bed, covered up with blankets, whilst drinking hot chocolate and talking about what an amazayn night we’d had.
I figured I had no choice, so I told her. I told her how freaking crazy mad I’d been at her earlier that evening, and how much it’d hurt to see her getting all flirty with Niall. I’d actually expected her to apologize, but instead she just burst into laugh.
“Was that what you worried about all the time? That I was going to steal Nialler from you?” She continued chuckling, while wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Then she saw how sad I looked, and suddenly got all serious.
“Hey honey, what I mean is that you never have to worry about that! When I was chatting with Niall today it was just in a friendly way and if it seemed a bit flirty, I’m sorry, but that’s just who I am. You know I’ve always got a thing for Harry, and I always will. And even if I did have feelings for Niall, I wouldn’t do that to you, because I know how much you like him.”
When she was done talking I couldn’t help but laugh a bit myself, I’d obviously overreacted big time. Suddenly it felt like 100 elephants just lifted of my shoulder and flew into the dark night.

“Okay, so I’ve got an idea!” I smiled “You, me, Harry and Niall – a double date? What do you think?” I could see a smile spread across her face, as she gave me a high-five.
“It’s the best idea I’ve heard in my entire life!” Was the last thing she said, before she lied back down in bed and fell asleep, exhausted after a long day. I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, as a lied back down as well. One minute later I was in wonderland, only this wasn’t a dream, I was just reliving my amazing moment with Niall, my boy.”

—

It was a perfect summer day, the sky was blue and cloudless, and the sun was shining brightly. I felt comfortable in my simple, but supercute peach colored dress, and my curls where lying perfectly down my shoulder. I was only wearing flip flops and a couple of Ray Band Wayfarers were covering my eyes, I just simply loved summer.
Susann was standing right next to me, tripping of excitement as well. She’d pulled her long hair back in a ballerina top and she was wearing a white lace dress, and light pink ballerina shoes.
As we stood there chatting about the incredible weather and that we had to go to the beach soon, a couple of really good-looking guys came down the street towards us.
It wasn’t just a couple of random good-looking guys, it was Niall Horan and Harry Styles. They were both wearing shorts but also a hoodies and sunglasses, probably because they didn’t want too much attention.

My heart skipped a beat as they got closer to us and Niall waved at me, smiling like an angel. We hadn’t seen the boys since the concert, which was like one week ago. I’d decided to text Niall a couple of days later, to actually make this double date become reality, which it was today. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as they walked up to us and Niall gave me a shy kiss on the cheek, whispering
“Hi babe, you’re looking good today!” in my ear. I could feel that I was blushing and looked down on my feet. I never used to be like that, I honestly didn’t know what was happening. People used to tell me that I talked too much and too loud, and now I was like this? Wow, Niall really did something to me, that hadn’t happened before.

“So it’s Nandos, right?” Niall asked, glaring hopefully at us with his big puppy eyes. We couldn’t do anything but laugh at him, he was just the cutest food lover ever. We all agreed to go to Nandos and walked down the street. A couple of weeks ago I couldn’t even in my most crazy dreams, imagine this happening, and now I was walking down the street to Nandos having a double date with my best  friend and our biggest celebrity crushes of all time. Life couldn’t get any better right now, there was no doubt about that. Even if this was just a dream, I hoped that I would never wake up.

When we got closer to Nandos we could glimpse a small crowd of teenage girls, about our age or a bit younger. Harry and Niall automatically put their hoods on, hoping that the girls wouldn’t notice them. We walked fast through the crowd and got inside Nandos safely, finding a table for four. The talking went naturally while we were eating, Susann and I told the lads about ourselves. While I was telling them about my parents and the place I lived, Niall didn’t take his eyes away from me a second. I blushed, stammered and looked down. Harry must have noticed, because he looked at Niall with a cheeky smile, saying
“Oh come on, Nialler! Let the poor girl talk without you staring her down”. Niall blushed as well and pushed Harry childishly in the shoulder, trying to avoid the awkwardness.

—
 

When we were done eating Niall suggested that we could go out for a walk, all four of us. I kicked Susann leg under the table, sending her the glare, lifting an eyebrow.
“Why don’t you guys go out for a walk, while Harry and I stay here a bit longer? We’ll catch up with you later.” Susann said with a sweet smile, looking over at Harry who automatically agreed, obviously understanding my “plan”. So Niall and I ended up leaving Nandos alone, just the two of us. How perfect.

“Hyde park isn’t far from here” Niall told me “would you mind walking there?” I just nodded and followed him down the street. We walked silently for a while, but it wasn’t awkward, it was just a nice silence. My heart jumped when Niall suddenly reached for my hand and clenched it softly, looking at me with an asking look, like he was checking up if I was ok with it. I clenched his hand carefully back and smiled at him, as we continued walking down the road.

“You seemed quiet shocked when I gave you my number the other day?” he murmured, looking at me. Wow, did I really make it that obvious? What was I supposed to say? That I thought he was into my best friend, who was sitting back at Nandos with his best friend right now? I figured lying to him wouldn’t make things any better, so I cleared my throat
“Umm, I honestly thought you were into Susann and not me…” I admitted, looking shyly away from him. He stopped and reached for my other hand, forcing me to face him.

“Why?” He seemed a bit hurt, maybe the truth wasn’t the best after all.
“I don’t know, you were just talking with her, and you seemed to already have some chemistry. And she is much prettier than me anyway, so I just didn’t see why you would like me instead of her.” I shrugged. He looked into my eyes with an understanding look

“I meant what I said about your friends looking good, but you look better.” He smiled “You’re underestimating yourself, I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You’re not just like any other girl I’ve met, there’s something else about you. When we met at the concert last week you didn’t scream into my face, you just stayed calm and didn’t fight to get all the attention.” When he was done talking we just stared into each other eyes in forever, his blue eyes were sparkling in the dim light. After what must have been the best forever of my life, he finally leaned closer. I closed my eyes and suddenly I felt his soft lips against mine. All the feelings that I’d tried to tame inside myself the entire evening went crazy, and I kissed him passionately back. Niall pulled back, laughed nervously and looked me back in the eyes again
“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I saw you the first time”.

I shivered and got goose bumps down my back, not sure if it was because of the amazing kiss that overwhelmed me too much, or the fact that it was getting a bit chilly outside. Niall obviously noticed, because he pulled me even closer.
“Are you freezing, honey? Take this” he said, offering me his grey Jack Wills hoodie. I let him drag it over my head, and I could feel the smell of his perfume.
“Thanks” I smiled, “this probably have to be the loveliest outfits of all times”. I laughed and looked down at myself, a hoodie and a dress were never a good combination.
“You look absolutely perfect” he said, pulling me even closer to his chest. When we were standing there the weather all suddenly decided to switch and I could feel a raindrop on my bare feet. After what seemed like only half a minute the sky had opened and the rain was pouring down, making us wet all over.
 

Niall stepped away from me and looked up into the sky, letting the raindrops make his face wet. I went to the closest puddle and playfully splashed some water at him with my feet, with a childish smile.
“Oh no, you’ll regret that!” He said teasingly and started running after me, screaming “payback’s a bitch!”.
“You’ll have to catch me first” I giggled and started running away from him. Not surprisingly he caught up with me pretty fast and captured me in his arms, forcing me down to the ground.  
“Say you’re sorry”, he demanded sitting on top of me, so I couldn’t move. I just stubbornly shook my head, chuckling.
“Say you’re sorry or I won’t ever kiss you again” he threatened me, getting even closer. I wasn’t willing to give up yet so I just stayed quiet and he started tickling me. I started laughing loudly and twisting, because I was very ticklish.
“Fine, I give up! I’m sorry!!” I giggled, he stopped, looking satisfied with his work.
“Mission complete” he bragged, kissing me a bit more intense this time. The rain was pouring down and we were both completely wet, but we just lied there in the grass, kissing like we were the only two people left on the planet. At that time that’s what I thought as well, there was nothing else I cared more about. It was just me and him, Niall Horan.

—

The next couple of weeks flew by just like a dream. Stuff just got better and better between me and Niall, and he even went around with me in public, showing off, not caring about the paparazzies knowing that we were dating. A morning we were out for a walk, we went by a newspaper shop and saw an article about Niall Horan and his new girlfriend on the front page of “The Sun”. Niall didn’t care much, he just seemed proud, which really just made my heart melt a little.

We went to the movies together, went out for dinner, I went to his place where we just snuggled up in the sofa while watching TV, we even hung out doing absolutely nothing. But I was never bored with him, not a single second. I’d never really been in a proper relationship before, but this was no doubt the best weeks of my entire life.

I could feel a lump in my throat building up as the day I was going back home to Norway got closer. If I could choose, I would have wanted to stay in London, living with him but that wasn’t an option. I had my friends and family back in Norway, and I had to finish school. I know it seems weird that I was willing to give up everything just for a guy I’d only known for a few weeks, but this was really something special. I knew this wasn’t just a summer romance that was going to be over as soon as the fall came. This was real, pure love.

Niall and I had talked about me going back home to Norway a lot, but he didn’t seem to worry too much about it. He really seemed to believe in a distance relationship, and he told me that he was going to visit me as often as he could, and that I could come down to Mullingar with him in December, to celebrate Christmas with him and his family. In front of him I just acted really positive to the whole “plan”, but deep inside I knew it was going to be hard. I could even stand the thought of not seeing him for months, only having short weekends to spend together. How was I supposed to handle it? I honestly didn’t know for sure.

—

It was the 10th of August, the day that I’d pushed in front of me, trying to ignore, for weeks. But today was the day, the day I was going to leave both my best friend and my boyfriend back in London, heading back to my beloved hometown, Lillehammer. Susann and Niall both went with me to the airport, wanting to say goodbye before I left. Susann was the first one to talk
“the past weeks have gone by so fast” she complained, giving me a huge bearhug. “I’m going to miss you so freaking much, blondie! I promise to visit you as fast as I can, and remember - I’m moving back to Norway pretty soon now.” I hugged her back, feeling the tears pushing on my eyelids. She let go of me and saw my sad face
“I’ll leave you two alone for a while” she said, patting my shoulder before excusing herself.

“So, when will I be seeing you next time, sweetheart?” Niall smiled at me, reaching for my hands.
“Look Niall, we need to talk” I said and pulled away, biting my lower lip. He frowned
“is there anything wrong?”
“Lately I’ve tried to stay positive to this whole distance relationship thing, but deep inside I’m honestly a bit unsure about it. The past weeks have been the best weeks of my entire life. You’ve made me realize that love is out there, no matter what you think about yourself. You’ve made me believe more in myself, and I’ve changed as a person because of you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved a person before in my life, you mean the world to me and I can’t imagine a life without you. But this relationship.. I don’t know, Niall” my voice broke and I burst into tears.
“The thought of not seeing you whenever I want to just breaks my heart, and I’m not sure if I can handle that. I want to have a boyfriend that I can see when I want to see him, not every other month or even more seldom. And this isn’t just about me, what about you? You deserve a girlfriend who can support you when you’re down, when you need someone to rely on. If you’re having a bad day at rehearsals or you want someone to support you on a big concert. I’m not able to be there for you then, and you deserve someone who can.”

I took a deep breath and looked up at him. At first he just seemed shocked, looking back at me like he wasn’t willing to believe what I’d just said.
“I.. I don’t know what to say…” he whispered after a couple of minutes, looking heartbroken. “I thought what we had was something special, but… what you’re doing to me now is quite selfish..” His face was expressionless, and his gaze flickered between me and the floor, filled with nothing but emptiness. I could hear my name being called over the speaker
“May Sandra Benrud please come to gate 14?” Niall didn’t move and inch, he just stayed quiet.

“I have to go” I murmured, looking at him with teary eyes, but he didn’t even react. I went up to him, kissed him carefully on the cheek and whispered
“I’m awfully sorry that this had to end like this, but I have to be a bit selfish sometimes and this is what’s best for you as well. I’m really confused now, but the only thing I know is that I love you.” My voice broke at the last word. Niall didn’t even respond, he just looked at me like I was some kind of a ghost.

I figured it was time to go, so I took my suitcase and whispered
“I love you, Niall Horan” and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes for the last time ever, before I turned my back to him, walking towards my gate. I was feeling sick and I mostly wanted to run back to him telling him how sorry I was, but I knew I’d made the right decision.

As the plane took off and headed back towards Norway, the tears were streaming down my face. I sobbed and cried the entire trip home, feeling more miserable than I’d ever imagined was possible. Life was never going to be the same again, not without this guy in my life. Not with the thought about breaking his heart into a thousand pieces, in the back of my mind.

—

The next couple of days were the worst days of my life. I mostly lied in bed all day, crying and feeling sorry for myself. I knew that was the worst thing to do, but sobbing to Titanic while eating ice cream seemed like the only right thing to do. Outside the sun was shining and it was so hot that I actually suspected that I’d taken the wrong plane home and ended up in Gran Canaria. If this had been a month ago I would be lying outside on the porch right now, licking sun and trying to get as much tan as possible. But not today, not now. I just didn’t care.
I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I barely talked and I didn’t even bother to get out of bed. I just spent my days there in my PJ’s looking like a troll, but who cared anyway?

After almost a week of misery my mom was getting a bit worried, she tried to pull me out of bed and when I refused she got angry at me instead.
”Seriously Sandra, how old are you? 3?” She yelled at me. Someone obviously hadn’t had their heart broken before.
”Please just get out of that bed right now, take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I promise you that you won’t regret it, and you’ll both feel and look so much better.” She almost commanded me, like she knew something I didn’t. I figured this thing was going a bit too far when it was starting to affect people around me as well, so I got out of bed and strolled into the bathroom, almost dragging my legs after me.
 

I decided that I wanted to be a bit nice to myself (and my mom), so I took a long shower, before I put on my favorite summer dress, even a bit make-up and did my hair. Then I walked downstairs where my mom had prepared a table for two outside in our garden with loads of delicious food, and I actually felt hungry for the first time in many days.
”Umm.. There’s someone here who wants to talk to you” my mom said with a sly voice, smiling like a goof. What the hell!? I thought, looking around. Was my friend Eirin coming for a visit? But she was in Sweden with her family, wasn’t she?
Suddenly the person I least expected to walk into my garden, showed up, smiling at me.
”Niall” I gasped, looking confused around, but my mom had already left us alone. I hesitated for a second before running into his arms, sobbing about how sorry I was and that I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
”Sssh, it’s okay” he said friendly, stroking my back and kissed my forehead.

At that point I knew that no matter how far apart we lived and no matter how seldom we were able to see each other, this was how it was suppose to be. I’d tried to act more grown-up than I actually was, but in situations like this we had to be both childish and selfish. I wanted him and he wanted me, that was how it was suppose to be. This relationship was meant to be, and we just couldn’t mess with destiny.
”I love you, Niall Horan” i whispered looking straight into his ocean blue eyes, tearing up, and I swear that I could see a teardrop in the corner of his eye as well.
”I love you too, Sandra Benrud” he whispered back and kissed me passionately.